COCKFACEDSLUTMASTERMOTEHRFUCKINASSHOLEFUCKEROFAMOTHERGODDAMNIT!!
4 hours of sleep simply isnt enough to deal with the assholes who come in.
Im gonna snap, and punch someone right in the fucking face.
THATS IT!! IM LIMITING MY SNS TIME FROM HERE ON OUT!
Pfffft like that will happen!
Thank god I dont work sun or mon.
mmm sleep.
HORRAH FOR BLASTING AWESOME MUSIC TO DANCE TO AT WORK!!
HORRAH FOR STEAK N SHAKE!!
HORRAH FOR MORE STEAK N SHAKE!
HORRAH FOR TARGET!!
HORRAH FOR SWINGS!!
HORRAH FOR HEAD BANGING TO COUNTRY!
HORRAH FOR CAPS!
After work went to sns. Came home at 3. Couldnt sleep. Went back to sns. Left at 930ish. went to target with david to look around. Tried on Shoes. Wobbled around "Strutting my stuff". It was fun. Just finnished watching "Say anything" Oh. Yes. Lloyd webber. You rock my small world. Ill wait for the ding with you! Oooh Im dirty. 
So.
Yea.
Rock on no sleep!
Dear Xanga,
I love staying up for 8 hours talking.
I love the way He makes me laugh.
I love how he kicks my ass at poker, and then when i get one good hand, and his sucks he still bets it all just to see me smile.
I love How he is jealous of my teddy bear.
I love when he gets grossed out when i threaten to fart on him.
I love how my funny faces really make him laugh.
I love how he thinks Im beautiful.. and wont let me argue it.
I love that he thinks my nephew is precious.
I love how I know I can tell him everything.
I love his little fro.
I love his adorable smile.
I love the way he blows me kisses when im upset.
I love The way he moves his lips when hes reading something.
I love how he tries everything to make me happy.
I really do love it when he blows me kisses.
I love Him.
werd.
So today. What a fun day.
When I finally wake up I drag my ass to the gas station to get gas. Ok, I have a small car, its like 30 bucks to fill it up. I CANT AFFORD THAT!!! Anyone else a little ticked about the gas prices? OH PICK ME!!!
So I head to my grandmas. Stop at the store by her house. Pick up a dozen BEAUTIFUL red, yellow and peach roses for her. (Im an awesome grandchild, what can i say?) And a cake and a tube of icing to write on it.
Get to her house. shes sick. Soooo I go back to the store to pick up some drugs for her. I Make a pitiful attempt at writing "Happy B-Day" on the cake. it made her smile, so good!! after we ate some cake, we sat around watching tv and eating chocolates. mmmmm
Then I headed home. The plan was to sleep over, but she was sick.. and I didnt want her to feel like she had to wake up early to make me breakfast. which is what she does.
on the way home I stopped and bought some more flowers. Roses for my mom, and Daisies for my grandpa. and then I just stood there. Staring. And crying.
The pain has dulled down quite a bit in five years. I know shes in a better place. I know that the pain is gone. I know she wasnt going to make it.
I cried because of all the things she missed, all the things she wanted to do. all the things shes going to miss. All the times Im going to need her.
It is all just very depressing.
After about 30 minutes of crying... and talking to her. I got back in my car and headed home.
Some Guy was riding my as on the highway, so I slowed down. He moved to pass me, and when he got over, Id speed up so he couldnt. We did this a few times, until he Almost hit me from behind, and then I was like, Fuck if Im letting you over ass munch.
Oh fun highway games.
So now Im home. and relaxed. And... Just.. I dont know. Hanging in there. Today is never an easy day. But its something I have to do. I have to be there for her. I have to make her smile. Because I love doing it. I complain, and I bitch about it. But Nothing makes me happier than knowing, even if for a few hours, shes happy.
Im such a sucker :p
After I got home this morning, I was up till ohh I dunno 12... Because MY FATHER WOULDNT STOP IT WITH THE POWER TOOLS!!
That assmonkey.
So I got a good, 4 hours of sleep.
went to work. Worked. Kinda.... There wasnt much to do. Got yelled at by this one guy.
He returned the incredibles 1/2 empty. but somehow thats our fault and not his. "Well I put it in the box in good faith that it would get checked in" "sir. We cant check in the movie until we have both disks. we called you and left a message on your machine" "well I never got it" AND THATS OUR FAULT HOW?!!?!
Gah, I swear to god, if that man complains about me, I will go to his house and deliver a message of my own... IN HIS EYE!!!!
David came in, so him patti and Moi, went to steak n shake for a few hours. No onion rings though. and no Gina smothered in BBQ sauce with a side of pickles. Gah. So upsetting.
But there was an uncle rico!!! YAY!!! hehe. Ok, Now I go sleepy <3 Byeeee
I had a FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC night!!
Which was great.
5 hours at steak N shake.
Which may not seem like a good time to you.
But 5 hours, of food, mr. Pibb, and Laughter, Is pretty fuckin awesome.
Patti and her sister are histerical.
GIT-R-DONE!!
"Id like to order a Gina, smothered in bbq sauce with a side of PICKLES"
oh Best night Ive had in a while.
not to mention the public mocking of Nathan T. Coon.
and now, if i could just fall asleep.
That would be super.
P.s. Fixed things with Jase. <3 He cheered me up tonight too. Boy just makes me deliriously happy.
Well, After my lovely night last night... I woke up off 3 hours of sleep alot happier.
I love what sleep does for me.
Went to work. Was kinda bored. Kinda not.
Came home. Laughed at my mom.
we're putting in hardwood floors, and My parents thought it would be done in a day. Oooh I dont think so. Its been interesting. Not sure where the fridge is, Cant get to the mircowave. so pretty hungry. one can not live off cereal bars alone you know!
its only 619, Im leaving soon to go eat at chillis with some people. Not really sure who all is going. David, Rebecca, rebecca's sister.. and then A few of davids other friends.
mmm chilli's How I love thee.
Alright, shower time. Be good people.
P.s. watching my fair Lady 3 times in one day, can make you a little bonkers!!!
Classic Creepy Guy At the Movie Store Moment of the day...
"Sir, Whats your phone number?"
"Why, are you going to stalk me?"
"Sir, do I look like the type of girl who needs to stalk someone?"
As Thorn would say...ZING!
So, I was filling out this survey and the only question I felt like answering was
Whats one thing you are good at : Fucking Things up.
First I ruin a perfectly good friendship because im in a shitty mood.
Then, I open my big fuckin mouth and ruin the best thing that ever happened to me.
My life is more than pathetic, Its pitiful and just sad.
on a slightly brighter note, I did my taxes and im getting 300 and something back.
Hoorah.
Well I should go to bed. I have work in 6 hours.
and then I get to come home, sit in my room.
and Talk to all the friends i dont really have.
Man, If I wasnt such a fuckin Pussy,
Now would be a great time to kill myself.
Oh yea. P.s Got Pulled over again today. thats twice in a month. Gee, everytime my parents tell me I suck and Im a failure, I think they might be right.
P.ps. This isnt a pity me entry. Ive come to terms with the fact that I suck. No need to pretend otherwise.
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