Laundry: Done
Room: Not Clean
Bag : Packed
Stomach: Growling
Hair: Sexy as hell
Nerves: Shot
We leave in 6 hours. I go over to patti's in 3-4. This is going to be
the best time of my life. I can tell. And even if it isnt, I still have
Jetski's!!! Patti cracks me up, telling me I need to find someone. That
being alone isnt good. Le sigh. I dont think she understands that I am
a loner. I put on a happy face in social occasions. But most of the
time, Im most happiest being a nerd, alone, in my room.
My mom had the depression talk with me yesterday. I dont think she
quite grasps that I can handle more than she thinks I can. Yes I had a
breakdown when my grandma was in the hospital, but after all the shit
Ive delt with, it was only natural. It's strange going to elk grove to
pack things up. It amazing at the same time, because we're finding so
many cool things that were my moms. I was scared that there were pretty
much no pictures of my mom anywhere. But We have millions.
What honestly hurts the most, isnt that my grandma doesnt live there.
Its learning so much about my moms life, now, that shes gone. I have so
many questions. And no one to give me answers. I just have to peice
together what I can, and hope I am doing the woman justice. I wish my
brother could be a part of this, not that he would appreciate it like
me. But it would still be nice to sit down, and be like "wow, Mom
really loved math, who knew?"
I saw pictures of my real sister. I have her Birthcertificate, Pictures
of her. Information on how to find out where to reach her if I so
desire. I'm thinking about it. I want to get my feet on the ground,
wait another year till Mary is 18, and then See if I can contact her.
If anything let her know I exist. I almsot cried when i saw the
pictures. She looks like me, but with dark hair.
Ok, enough being sappy and pathetic. I have some eggo waffles just calling my name. Toodles.
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